Adult lesbian

Here are some of the questions and concerns of adult lesbian…
1) Why me lesbian?
2) How will this affect the lives of my children/spouse? Will they accept me (a lesbian)…forgive me?
3) Will my parents, brothers, sisters and/or other family members stop speaking with me?
4) What about divorce? Do I want one? How messy can things get?
5) Will I have trouble advancing in my profession?
6) How can I afford to break-up my home?
7) How will others speak of me?
8) I know very little about lesbians and what I do know doesn’t feel right. Perhaps I’m wrong!
9) Am I going to hell?

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Some of us feel that the term “lesbian” does not quite fit who we are. It may seem too limiting;
it may not describe all that we feel. Some of us may be forced to return to a state of
questioning in order to find the proper term. This can feel very frustrating and we may wonder
if we will ever understand our sexual orientation. We may think there’s a possibility we are
bisexual, (even if we have previously ruled-out this identity), or we may realize we are “queer”
or “pansexual” which describe an orientation that exists in a constant state of change.
Sometimes we feel as though we’re lesbian, but not always; sometimes we are bisexual, but
this too may change. The important thing to remember is that you are not alone. Many people
have faced these challenges and emerged with a deeper understanding of who they are.

Sexual - lesbian

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Most of us remember the moment when we first realize that we’re lesbian. That initial wave of knowing can bring a tremendous release of stress and anxiety. Afterwards, some of us need time to get used to this new reality, but others are compelled to share the news. Coming-out to yourself marks the end of an exhausting and perhaps emotionally draining period of questioning your sexual orientation. Congratulations, you have arrived! The confidence we gain in finally understanding our sexual orientation can boost our courage. Some of us become resolute in our decision to tell others. Many however, worry about how their loved-ones will react. Only you can decide if and when the time is right to come-out to family members. It can be a very difficult time and depending upon your situation, it may not be in your best interest to tell them right away. Some of us are aware that we are different as early as age three. We sense it intuitively, but we also receive clues from the world around us. We may notice that we don’t share the same attitudes or sensitivities as our peers. This difference may become more apparent as we approach sexual maturity, when we begin to notice our physical and emotional attractions.

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 Some of us find this frightening and we may try to resist (or deny) our thoughts or physical impulses, even if these reactions confirm what we’ve always known about ourselves. Others experience it as a natural progression of who they are becoming.Those who become aware of their attractions during adolescence may face a prolonged period of questioning their sexual orientation. They might attribute their feelings to the hormones associated with puberty and hope that it is just a phase. Others may consider themselves abnormal or perverse and wonder if they are being punished for some misdeed. “Questioning” is a normal process and it provides us with an opportunity to examine how we really feel.

Being lesbian I feel ...



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It is difficult when you know that you are different, but you do not understand why. You may feel worried, scared, confused, and you may not know where to turn for answers. Understanding the nature of your difference can bring you joy, relief, and peace of mind. It is normal to be lesbian! The process of self-discovery is unique for everyone. People can go through a lengthy “questioning” or “curious” phase before fully understanding their sexual orientation. Women who have sexual encounters with other women are not necessarily lesbian. “Experimenting” does not determine your sexual orientation; being lesbian is something you are, not something you do. Even if you know you are lesbian, you may not be ready to tell others, or deal with the potentially negative fallout. You will know when the time is right to make the changes that will bring you harmony and personal happiness.
Growing up, many of us feel isolated from the world around us. Young lesbian girls sometimes read situations differently, or with a deeper meaning than their straight peers. They can also form interpersonal connections that others envy or judge as strange. For instance, a child who provides a different spin on the classroom gossip may hear, “That’s a weird thing to say!” or “No one else thinks that way.” This same child may find it very easier to befriend boys because she does not feel the social anxiety experienced by other girls. Whether you believe it or not, being lesbian is a gift. It will allow you to understand and appreciate things that many others can’t. There will be struggles and challenges as you meet people who are quick to judge, but if you accept who you are, most of them will have no difficulty in doing the same.
If you are an adolescent, you may be using drugs, alcohol, the internet, video games, television or other outlets to escape confusing thoughts and feelings. Be honest with yourself and acknowledge your fears. Realizing that you are lesbian may empower you to take control of your life, even if your worries seem worse in the beginning. These “methods of escape” can hold-up important mental and emotional work, further prolonging the often uncomfortable questioning phase.
Lesbian teens sometimes think that it will be difficult for them to realize their goals in life. Marriage and career expectations may seem out of reach, especially if you are unaware of your opportunities as a adult. Life will not be easier if you try to set aside your orientation to live as a straight person. Some may recklessly pursue heterosexual encounters to convince themselves (and others) that they are straight. This behaviour is extremely dangerous and unhealthy!
Lesbians can come-out at any age. Many of us are in our teens or twenties, but others avoid dealing with their sexual orientation until much later in life. It is particularly difficult for a person to come-out after they’ve entered into a heterosexual marriage – or lived until their senior years in a heterosexual identity. These women deserve and require just as much support and compassion. Accepting who you are is very important to your quality of life. It’s never too late however; the sooner you can do it, the better your chances of avoiding the pain associated with hiding your sexual orientation. It may be difficult, but in time you will learn how to tell people that you are lesbian. Coming-out is not a one-time event; it recurs with every new
relationship, workplace environment or social contact. Having a healthy outlook will help.

What is lesbian



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We are attracted to members of our own sex: physically, emotionally, erotically, spiritually or romantically. We are more likely to find long-term happiness with a woman than with a man.
Lesbian women are not tougher or angrier or more sexually driven than anyone else.
Homosexuality is not an illness, a defect, or a perversion; it is a normal and expected reality for between five and ten percent of the population.
Some of us identify with the word gay just as easily as lesbian, yet others feel that gay belongs to homosexual men and it does not reflect the unique nature of a romantic connection between
two women. Some prefer the word lesbian for its historical and cultural significance. The word “lesbianism” first appeared in 1890, followed by the adjective “ lesbian ” in 1890, and as a noun in 1925 (Oxford English Dictionary). Prior to this, the word “Sapphic” referred to homosexual relations between women. These words share a common source. Lesbos is an island in the
North Aegean Sea; its inhabitants are called Lesbians. Sappho was a famous Greek lyric poet who lived on Lesbos c. 600 B.C. Her writings were entrenched with erotic sensuality directed
towards both men and women. Nineteenth century doctors borrowed